giving and taking

kevin has been wanting me to read a book called "the vision" for quite some time now. it is the story of a native american shaman and scout who decided to take on an 8 year old white kid as his apprentice. the book is written by the 8 year old as an adult about his experiences being taught by stalking wolf (grandfather).

anyway, i have been reading it today. and i am touched to my soul at the descriptions of the reverence the author holds for our planet and for all life on our planet. i see now why pookie wanted me me to read it - because that's the sort of rapture he feels. that's why he wants to be an organic subsistence farmer. i am a very book oriented person, and in reading this book i get a feel for what kevin feels.

part of me in reading this feels a loss because i do not experience the joy of nature very readily. i am a city girl through and through, and i live in my head A LOT. i am also a little sad because though i know that our earth is my kevin's deity, it took someone else's words to bring it home to me. i also love that my kevin knows this about me and that's why he wanted me to read this book.

i am grateful to kevin for opening my eyes to our responsibility as stewards of the earth. and for helping me be more aware of how my decisions affect the web of life. i am still learning to open myself to the myriad beauties of nature and how incredibly wonderful our amazing planet really is.

i am well aware of the gifts that kevin brings to my life (other than the obvious one of loving me), but i started to think about what i bring him as well (besides the obvious one of loving him). when he came to visit on friday he was all sorts of bent out of shape but didn't know why. i think the gift that i bring the relationship is my carefree spirit. kevin worries A LOT. and i rarely do. i have my moments - just recently i posted on FB that i wanted to sleep until thigs didn't suck so much. but when i was polled by some friends about that post i revealed that i was really just pissed about money, but not in a serious way. i have a genuine ability to roll with the punches and come out smiling. and i think that is my gift to kevin - to help him see that you don't have to worry so much because mostly it's a waste of your energy.

so he helps me feel connected to our amazing planet and i help him take a chill pill. we both have a long road ahead of us in bestowing our respective gifts - but i am confident that our love is making the world a better place.