Tuesday, June 15, 2010

it's all good - even if i get sad sometimes

so, i started my new job this week. i am lucky because my immediate "boss" is a good college friend of mine who knows that i am valuable to the program already, so i don't have to pretend i never have a cup of wine or that i don't have tattoos to make her realize that i am good at my job (yes, utah is like that - even salt lake, though not to as great an extent as ogden).
i have second graders this summer. before this summer, i thought that what i really wanted was to just teach kinders, but would be ooo-k(?) with first - but it was nonsense - i love all the littles. i think i am just going to get my degree so that i could teach any elementary grade. i am seeing that each year has its own special treasures and challenges - just like everything in life.
i am, however, looking forward to finding a job where i can STAY. one of the reasons i don't want to leave parkview is that i LOVE watching my kinders grow, and i LOVE how i get letters from pre-k kids saying how they hope they have me as a teacher because i had their sibling. but i know that i will develop that at any school i go to. and i think that my principal has created a culture of fear at my school, and that's not what i want.
sometimes i think it might be boring to read about how much i love my job and my man and my daughter, but that's where i'm at. i mean, i get depressed - mostly over money. i don't want to be rich, but i am tired of worrying if i can even pay my bills. i am sad that kevin and i have both found what we LOVE to do, but society doesn't choose to honor either of our (FUNDAMENTAL) career choices with much monetary compensation. and like i said, i'm not all about money - i am just tired of scraping to pay my bills.
i guess what i want to leave this blog with, is that i feel blessed - every day. i have an amazing love, amazing family/friends, and an amazing job.

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