something AWESOME i learned because of yubyub

so, last sunday morning (july 24 - which (fyi) is a state holiday in utah - pioneer day - for those of you who live outside the land of zion - not related to my story but a piece of trivia. kevin and i are at the farmers market selling his tasty veggies grown with love and we decide to get a puppy - a small breed because our house is small and can't accommodate a large breed. kevin wanted a garden companion.

an hour or so later our friend spring shows up at the market to say hi - and has a new pup with her. we say, "funny! we just decided today that we want a puppy!" spring: "my friend just had 15 puppies - let me bring you one to meet!" me: "well we want a small breed (spring's puppy will grow into a medium size dog i think)" spring: well, the one i want to show you because i love him so much is a shih tzu poodle mix - he's little. just you wait - my friend lives near here - i will bring the puppy to meet you!"

sure enough, spring shows up with her friend and the little guy i am holding in the picture. the puppy slays us with his cuteness and we can't deny the auspiciousness of the timing so we can't NOT take him.

SOOOOO... puppies are a CRAZY amount of work. i did not realize the extent because i have never had a puppy. i used to wonder why there were puppies in the pound - because who would give up a puppy? but i see why now (and yubyub is a really good puppy too! - oh yeah, we named him yubyub because it is a word in ewokese because we think he looks like an ewok) they suck you in with their adorableness - and then you are face with the reality of puppy training - not for everyone :)

ok - background story complete - in the book we got (puppy whisperer: a compassionate non-violent guide to early training and care - NOT to be confused with cesar (sp?) the dog whisperer - this book has nothing to do with showing dominance) in the section on socializing your puppy they say your job in socializing is to get your puppy to roll with the punches that are life. so if you drop a pan on the floor and it startles you little guy - make it a party - "yea! i dropped a pan!!!"(give treat) a loud garbage truck goes by - "yea! a garbage truck!!!!"(give treat) - you get the point.

when i first told kevin about this part of the book (he is working all the time so i read and summarize) i tell him i think it's sorta awesome but would make me feel ridiculous a little bit (though i am still down for tryin'). but the more i think about it - the more i think "WHAT an awesome tool!" for MY life!. what if every time something threw you for a loop or scared or derailed you you thought "YEA! i have to take college algebra again!" (one close to my heart). or even "YEA! i lost my job!". doing "the work" has taught me that EVERYTHING is in our power to determine our reaction to it. reality is what it is - PERIOD - the only thing we have is our reaction to it. so i appreciate the further lesson in this i got because of yubyub -
THROW A PARTY WHEN SOMETHING UPSETS YOU!

a step-dad for my little

so, kevin has never been a big fan of children. mostly he is disappointed with the way our species behaves toward our planet and thinks the world would be better off if we would please stop breeding and just die off. in light of this, i am really amazed and grateful for the relationship he has ended up forging with my daughter.

for the first couple years, he pretty much left the parenting to me (with occasional behind-the-scenes advice or insight), though he was always friendly with cass and genuinely liked her. but over the last year and a half or so, their relationship has really grown. it has been really touching to watch as they have become family to each other. kevin thinks of himself as a dad to her, and she has never really had that in any of my previous relationships (excepting, of course, her actual father). for the first time since her dad and i split, i feel like i have support raising my daughter.

it has been a real joy watching them grow to love each other. i am so thankful for my little family. they both bless my life in so many ways and i am a lucky lucky lady.

Freedom and Education and how we are failing

I am going to begin with a lengthy quote from a book I reading for one of my Education classes. It really highlights for me the disconnect I see between the way teachers are being trained in college (at least in my program)and the reality of most public schools. The passage is from a book called The Learning Cycle: Elementary School Science and Beyond by Edmund Marek and Ann Cavallo.

"Why is it important to have the development of thinking ability as the centralpurpose of education? First, all other goals of education, such as understanding the subject matter, cannot be achieved without the ability to think logically. Second, this goal prepares students for their future in society. Throughout a lifetime, individuals must solve many problems, make judgments and decisions, and, ideally, create new ideas that extend and/or improve current knowledge of the world. These activities will not be accomplished if the students in our schools have not developed the ability to think. Third, developing the ability to think is important across all subjects in the curriculum. Content is specific to subject areas and may be forgotten. The ability to think logically is general and central to all subject areas and will prevail for a lifetime. Finally, individuals in our society cannot be truly free if the ability to think is lacking. How is thinking related to freedom? The ability to think allows individuals to decide, for themselves, the value of others' decisions opinions and rules. Without the ability to think, reason, and form opinions independently, individuals would have no choice but to accept the decisions of virtually anyone who is in a position of authority...

The final point regarding freedom is perhaps of greatest significance. This nation was founded on the premise that all persons are entitled to their individual freedoms. [my interjection here - ALL persons? It's a nice thought but I don't think so. I think the group of people this nation had in mind when they founded the US was pretty clearly NOT all persons - but the point he is coming to is valuable nonetheless] Freedom, however, requires certain factors for its establishment and survival, and these include the 'social institutions which protect freedom and the personal commitment that gives it force' (EPC, 1961). But social institutions will neither be free nor advocate freedom if those governing them do not so demand, and these individuals will not demand freedom if they are not committed to it. In order to demand and practice responsible freedom, individuals must have what the EPC called 'freedom of mind', 'a condition which each individual must develop for himself'. To be truly free, and to maintain the democratic society we cherish [my interjection - we are not and never have been a democracy - but again, I still think the general thrust of what he is saying is valid] individuals must use thinking skills that allow each to formulate well-founded opinions, judgments, and actions. Thus, 'a free society has the obligation to create circumstances in which all individuals may have the opportunity and encouragement to attain freedom of the mind.' (EPC, 1961

These circumstances can be created in our school classrooms... In order to perpetuate a free society, however, the individuals making it up must have freedom of mind. To have freedom of mind, students must learn to think autonomously. If schools are to achieve their central purpose, the experiences they provide must lead students to develop the ability to think." p18-19

Ok, so why are schools such conformity factories? In my Education degree, we are constantly talking about how to create environments where children are honored and taught how to think, how to make our classrooms as inclusive as possible, and how to attempt to take off our own cultural blinders and realize how they affect the way we teach. But I don't think that is the pervasive culture in today's public school system. I read stories the news that appear to reward conformity and mediocrity at the expense of authentic learning and creativity. What a different world it would be if schools were actually there to teach our future citizens to think critically and question the world around them rather than to blindly accept whatever they hear. What if schools taught us to recognize injustice, wherever it may be, and to stand up for basic human rights for ALL?